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Alice-square

Alice in Ginger land

The mad ginger chai party -With due apologies to Lewis Carol.

The characters:

The Mad Hat. R or Mr R.

Alice Amudan

The Many Eyed Dormouse-

D Nth Caterpillar

Quimbi- the queen of hearts.

CHATAN the chesire cat.

The Moon Hare 

(A table set out under a tree in front of a house. Mr R and The Moon Hare were having tea and the dormouse was sitting between them fast asleep when Alice enters. Caterpillar is seated in a mushroom stool or toad stool with his hookah.)

Alice- (to herself) Nice Site! There is plenty of Bytes and bites over here. (Sitting down she smiles at every one) Aloud- Hello Everyone! I have come in search of some Indian food from Sanghai

Caterpillar- Sanghai did you say? Hmmm… That reminds me, the weed over there is quite good. May be I should switch from Hookah to weed.

Mr. R – Weed out the weed before it weeds you out.

Alice- He is quite right, you know.

Caterpillar- Who are you? (to alice, irritatedly)

Alice-I am Alice Amudan.

Moon Hare- I didn’t know, Alice was a Hindu? Time for some introspection, I guess.

From inside a booming voice calls out- Did I hear Hindu? (Enter Queenbi- the Queen of hearts)

Quimbi- Who dares speak out the word Hindu with such ignorance-OFF WITH HER HEAD!

Moon Hare jumps up in fright but Mr.R restrains her and stands up and bowing low to Queenbi.

Mr R- We are honoured with your presence, Your Majesty. Perhaps you would join us in our ginger chai party and delight us with your words of wisdom.

Queenbi- (Mellowing down and sitting down) You could have done that sooner. Every night I used to gaze at the moon and wonder when … I would get some tea.

Moon hare sits down but in the process spills a jug of milk.

All looks up afraid and Alice to lighten the mood coughs

Alice- Nice Tea party you have arranged here.

Mr.R – Oh I am the master brewer here. I have quite a practice at it you see. In fact I am thinking of writing a book on How to throw a tea party and tea party etiquette tips. Actually I believe minimum five cups of tea should be made to maintain a marriage.

Caterpillar- Yoicks! Where did the matter of marriage come from? I trademark this statement of mine.

Quimbi- How dare you de-sanctify by Yoicking the sacred institute of marriage? OFF with His head.

Dormouse- (In her sleep)- Does it have a head to be off with it? Better not snuff it?

(Moon Hare nudges the dormouse to quieten her)

Queenbi pauses to think and sips some tea

Alice- So then, where is Mrs. R? and the table has been set for so many people?

Moon hare- Mrs R has gone looking for her wallet which she lost. And the table is set for the many book lovers who come and go as they like from the nearby library.

At that moment Chatan the chesire cat appears beside the caterpillar.

Caterpillar- Ah bro! Back from your books? Did you like the Hitchhikers guide series?

Chatan grins.

Alice- Goodness, he grins but I have never seen a Cheshire cat grin or for that matter any cats grin.

Caterpillar- Ah he reads a satire so he grins. (Pausing)You shouldn’t make personal remarks. It’s rude.

Alice -Hey that was my line. In the book I was supposed to say it.

Caterpillar- What the What! You are too slow. Now I have to say your lines too?

Alice- Am I slow? Do you say that because I am De Laying. Well I was not so in the morning but I seemed to become just now. I keep on De Laying off and on. Or maybe it’s just what I feel.

Caterpillar- (Shifts in his seat) – You are confused (starts puffing on his Hookah) You should eat some mushroom. It will calm you down and act as a SHRINK… The taste is not much to speak about but you can always have the Oat Variant. 

Mr.R again intervenes.

Mr.R- Ok now that every one is here. Even Chatan from his Smiling planet. We can have some sound bytes now.

Dormouse- A cat that grins from the Smiling Planet- Hah!

Quimbi- Ach! Pich!- What silly comments she makes! All western influence I guess. Do I have to tolerate all these now? Oh! Dear! Hey Krishna! Hey Deva!

Alice – (While Quinbi is in hysteria, Alice whispers to Moon Hare) Western? Is she from the west?

Moon Hare- No , she watches a lot of westerns.

Quimbi- (Still shaking her head!) A bad influence, A bad influence- Something has to be done- Off with her head!

Mr.R- (Alarmed) You cant do that. She is writing this

Quimbi- Urgh! Don’t I get to slay anyone today? How about yours?

Chatan- Grinning – Not that either. Whole tea site will crash

Quimbi- (turning to Chatan) Then OK yours? Off with his head!

Chatan-As you wish your majesty! And Chatan starts disappearing slowly starting from his head. Except his grin.(This seems to calm down Quimbi slightly)

Alice – (to herself) maybe that’s what the Cheshire cat was for in the book… so that the Queen’s ego could be satisfied without any blood loss. Oh God! I am so confused. It’s because of that silly date with Alexander Super tramp. Why did I ever go out with him?

Mr R- Excuse me Ladies and Gentle insects (turning to Quimbi) Your Majesty, May I if you allow. (Quimbi nods graciously).We enjoy a very democratic chai party over here and I wouldn’t mind anybody doing anything over here as long as you don’t build statues like ..(every body starts shushing him) ..Oops! No controversy! So… You can be Gay and Childful, Sorry Cheerful as you like and I wouldn’t mind as such but surprisingly some people were complaining that we lack a sense of humour. Some people close infact were complaining. ( Mr R blushes)

Alice – Why is he blushing?

Caterpillar – It is the capillary action of blood and Fluid dynamics.

Moon Hare- No it is the transformation  of  spiritual energy.

(Quimbi- Glares at the interruption Mr R- again interrupting)

Mr R- Hold it. Hold it! Never mind the cause behind my blush., It is all about time- Yes it is time to show that we do have a sense of humour. I mean its time for action. We have to show them.

Moon Hare – Alarmed. What? What do we show them? Is this about show business? Pictures?

Dormouse-( in her sleep)I think he means that. You know – Pictures speaks.

Mr R- Dormouse , I think you should stop your moping and feeling like a woman and sleeping and start being cheerful.

(Dormouse just manages to open one eye but again falls asleep. Moon Hare pours tea in her mouth. Hey it’s not cruelty but we do have to follow the book at times too.)

Mr R- To Moon Hare – If you please! There might be some scope for humour in your introspection.

To Caterpillar- How about diluting your euphemism and witticisms with little bit of humour in a language that mere mortals can digest?

Caterpillar- I have a better idea, why don’t we just distribute some weeds or vodka shots.

Alice- Nitrous Oxide? (Hopefully).

Both caterpillar and Alice chuckle.

Caterpillar- How about giving them free hair cuts? (Again laughs)

Mr R rolls his eyes.Ignoring them.

Mr R- And your Majesty, with utmost grace I would like to remind you that, you have such a unique sense of humour. People have funny bones but you have funny fingers Your Majesty

(Mr R smiling slyly)

Quinbi- (exclaiming) Holy Finger! You remember!

(And returns the smile. No no readers,you are getting it all wrong!Just refer to the comment section of Radha Chandrans Understanding the concept.part 11..and you will get it)

Mr R- Yes Your Majesty – Let the world see the wild and wicked side of our Queen too.(Turning to all  present.) So you see we have it in us to turn this seemingly serious tea party in to a gregarious mischievous rolling chai party. Every body is welcome to this party. To be a guest Author oops! I mean a guest. Period.

(every body applauds)

(To himself)-.If this become successful I am going to write a book- How to avoid activity trap in your chai party.

Curtains!

Director’s note: Did you enjoy the quirky characters? their speeches? They are all real and are based on our wonderful interactions in GingerChai so far. Their dialogues – most of them are real comments. If comments are so entertaining then think about the posts. We at GingerChai believe in having fun as well as contributing enriching articles.

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