Reflected Realization

Today had been eventful, something different from the rest but not good. I was kicked out of the school band, my best friend ditched me and I was made to sit in detention. I can’t believe all this happened to me! Why me? What had I done? It wasn’t even my fault.

How could Rohan throw me out of the band? He, who is always giving me advices to improve my singing, what does he think of himself?

As usual, we gathered in Deepa ma’am’s room in the morning to rehearse our songs. I was in no mood to sing and everyone could see that, everyone except Rohan. He constantly kept telling me work on the notes, or to sing higher. I left the room furiously tired of all his ordering. He maybe our leader but he couldn’t force me to sing. As I ran down the hallway I heard him saying, “There’s no need for you to come back.”

I got into the class just as my class teacher got inside. Rohan was already seated and as usual Divya, my best friend was seated right next to him. She frowned at me and changed her seat when I came to sit next to her. I was taken aback…what had I done? Why was she upset with me? I went up to her and demanded an answer. She looked at me and said, “Why do you always have to have things the way you want? Why can’t you ever do anything for others?” I was enraged. Hot tears streamed down my face and I ran to the washroom. How could she say things like that? I knew why. It was because of Rohan. She would always do as Rohan said. I went back in the class and gave her a tight slap across her face. She screamed at me and told me to never talk to her again. I heard my English teacher shouting my name, “Come right here! What was the need for you to slap Divya like that?” I bent down my head. I knew what was coming next. “You will serve detention in the next period in the headmistress’s room. That will teach you not to misbehave in my class.” I groaned and made my way to her room. This all wasn’t even my fault.

I was tired. I wanted to get away from it all and just escape somewhere…a place where all this won’t even matter. I needed a break. Casually, I turned towards the mirror and saw my reflection. I stared into my own eyes. Shock struck me. I shuddered in horror as the realization hit me. It was me. It was my fault. I finally grasped that all the problems I was facing was not because of Rohan or even Divya it was because I had been a jerk. I was too caught up in my whole world that I didn’t think about anyone else. Divya had been right I always wanted things my way. I always wanted to be the center of attraction.

Today when I looked in the mirror it was not my reflection that had scared me. It was the realization. In my eyes I had seen some guilt and pain which brought me to reality. Sometimes it is because of our own deeds that we land up in a heap of confusions and troubles. And at these ‘sometimes’, ask yourself who is at fault and you will know that it’s you.

The next morning I went to school knowing what I had to do. I went up to Divya and apologized. I narrated her all the feelings I had last night and she understood. She forgave me. I hugged her tightly and promised her that this would never repeat itself. I went to class and our lessons began.

I still had one more thing to do. I found Rohan strumming his guitar to our favorite tune in the music room. As soon as he saw me, he stopped. I sat down next to him. I opened my mouth but no words came out. I didn’t know how to apologize to him. Before I could figure out what to say he said, “Its ok. I understand.” I looked at him surprised. With a little smile he added, “Be here tomorrow morning. We have lots to rehearse. Especially those high notes you keep messing up,” and started laughing. I couldn’t help smiling back.