The Law of Fun
We have quite a few married people at GC. Dear married people, you might think you are cool, but let’s face it- You are not cool. period
I have always- ever since I was born, been convinced that bachelors are the only people who have fun on the planet. But till now I did not have any conclusive evidence to show this (though, this doesn’t mean I doubted this fact for even a second), hence I decided to conduct a research and the results of the research are being published in this esteemed journal in form of the ‘law of fun’. So here it goes
The Law of fun has following two Postulates:
- After Graduation, disposable income and responsibility as function of time vary according to the curves shown in the figure.
- ‘Fun’ , as a mathematical entity can be calculated as:
Area under the curve of disposable income- Area under the curve of responsibility.
Which can mathematically be represented as:
Where I represent disposable income and R represents responsibility.
As you can see that we have started the curve from graduation- the reason behind starting the domain of results from Graduation is because that is when the income of any sort starts for an average person though there are many exceptions, we are talking the Indian Middle class here.
Now, as the person graduates, gets and job and works hard- the disposable income increases with time where as the responsibilities curve maintains a constant value of a very low magnitude. But this trend continues till point A.
The point A symbolizes Marriage. After Point A, as is evident, the disposable income curve acquires a negative slope and the responsibilities curve acquires a positive slope. This physically means responsibilities start increasing and the disposable income starts decreasing.
This trend continues till point C. The point C signifies the advent of kids in the life. Now, From Point C, the negative slope of disposable income curve and the positive slope of the responsibilities curve becomes notably sharp all of a sudden and within a very short span of time achieves point D. Point D is the point where both the variables attain maximum values and become constant- the disposable income attains a magnitude tending to zero and cannot further decrease and responsibilities curve attains a magnitude so high that it is not possible for a person to take any more responsibility.
This state continues for a long period of time- say at least 20 years and as said earlier- the disposable income is nearly zero and responsibilities are maximum during this period.
But as we can see in the curve, after the end of those 20 something years, there is a slow increase in the disposable income curve and decrease in responsibilities curve. This phenomenon can be attributed to the retirement and kids starting to earn. But by to this time, generally people due to some unexplained reasons, tend to acquire this weird idea that visiting pilgrims and other supposedly Holy places can also be classified as fun. So practically that disposable income and lesser responsibilities remain of little use.
Now the question arises how to maximize the function “fun”. According to the formula and the graph, fun has a positive value only till point B and also after point A (marriage) the negative and positive slopes of the respective curves are inevitable. It means the best way to maximize the function fun is to have as high value for point A as possible. The physical interpretation of the previous statement will be- stay unmarried for as long as possible.
Now that I have provided you with sufficient mathematical proof, I hope you all will agree. Do ask in comments of any clarification is sought – I shall be gratified in clearing the doubts.
All you bachelors out there- this research could not have at a better time for you. Now that you are enlightened, go save your share of ‘fun’ in life from being snatched by the hands of chachis/Mamis/bhabhis anxiously trying to get you married.
- This study doesn’t recognize people who talk to their girlfriends for more than two hours every night, as bachelors. They are as bad as married to the author.
- This is not to offend married people. This article is to be taken with a pinch of salt, butter and jam.