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The Law of Fun

We have quite a few married people at GC. Dear married people, you might think you are cool, but let’s face it- You are not cool. period

I have always- ever since I was born, been convinced that bachelors are the only people who have fun on the planet. But till now I did not have any conclusive evidence to show this (though, this doesn’t mean I doubted this fact for even a second), hence I decided to conduct a research and the results of the research are being published in this esteemed journal in form of the ‘law of fun’. So here it goes

The Law of fun has following two Postulates:

  1. After Graduation, disposable income and responsibility as function of time vary according to the curves shown in the figure.
  2. ‘Fun’ , as a mathematical entity can be calculated as:

Area under the curve of disposable income- Area under the curve of responsibility.

Which can mathematically be represented as:

Where I represent disposable income and R represents responsibility.

As you can see that we have started the curve from graduation- the reason behind starting the domain of results from Graduation is because that is when the income of any sort starts for an average person though there are many exceptions, we are talking the Indian Middle class here.

Now, as the person graduates, gets and job and works hard- the disposable income increases with time where as the responsibilities curve maintains a constant value of a very low magnitude. But this trend continues till point A.

The point A symbolizes Marriage. After Point A, as is evident, the disposable income curve acquires a negative slope and the responsibilities curve acquires a positive slope. This physically means responsibilities start increasing and the disposable income starts decreasing.


This trend continues till point C. The point C signifies the advent of kids in the life. Now, From Point C, the negative slope of disposable income curve and the positive slope of the responsibilities curve becomes notably sharp all of a sudden and within a very short span of time achieves point D. Point D is the point where both the variables attain maximum values and become constant- the disposable income attains a magnitude tending to zero and cannot further decrease and responsibilities curve attains a magnitude so high that it is not possible for a person to take any more responsibility.

This state continues for a long period of time- say at least 20 years and as said earlier- the disposable income is nearly zero and responsibilities are maximum during this period.

But as we can see in the curve, after the end of those 20 something years, there is a slow increase in the disposable income curve and decrease in responsibilities curve. This phenomenon can be attributed to the retirement and kids starting to earn. But by to this time, generally people due to some unexplained reasons, tend to acquire this weird idea that visiting pilgrims and other supposedly Holy places can also be classified as fun. So practically that disposable income and lesser responsibilities remain of little use.

Now the question arises how to maximize the function “fun”. According to the formula and the graph, fun has a positive value only till point B and also after point A (marriage) the negative and positive slopes of the respective curves are inevitable. It means the best way to maximize the function fun is to have as high value for point A as possible. The physical interpretation of the previous statement will be- stay unmarried for as long as possible.

Now that I have provided you with sufficient mathematical proof, I hope you all will agree. Do ask in comments of any clarification is sought – I shall be gratified in clearing the doubts.

All you bachelors out there- this research could not have at a better time for you. Now that you are enlightened, go save your share of ‘fun’ in life from being snatched by the hands of chachis/Mamis/bhabhis anxiously trying to get you married.

NOTE:

  • This study doesn’t recognize people who talk to their girlfriends for more than two hours every night, as bachelors. They are as bad as married to the author.
  • This is not to offend married people. This article is to be taken with a pinch of salt, butter and jam.
0 30 May, 2011 Wicked Brew May 30, 2011

About the author

Pranjal is a mechanical engineer by profession from National Institute of Technology, Jamshedpur.

View all articles by Pranjal Srivastava

33 comments

  1. hindustani

    Did u say since ur birth you were convinced bachelors r the only people having fun? ask ur parents they would say they had fun watching u grow as kid :)

    What u meant s care free life not necessarily fun filled life. What one meant as fun @ 10 years will be different @ 20 and different @ 30 and different @ 60.

    Anyways loved ur approach n the style of writing. Sure you will get married one day and understand the other side of joy.

    Reply
    1. Pranjal

      Thanks man :-) Glad u liked.
      By the way u change the frame of reference when u say the idea of fun changes with age. Same variable will give different values if we change the frame of reference :P

      Reply
  2. Nikhil

    proportion of fun to income and responsibilities :D so true … g mar jaati hai … All you bachelors out there- this research could not have at a better time for you. Now that you are enlightened, go save your share of ‘fun’ in life from being snatched by the hands of chachis/Mamis/bhabhis anxiously trying to get you married. :))

    Reply
  3. Mani

    erm, Dear Pranjal Srivastava could you first please define Fun?
    Secondly I would like to ask you whether this applicable to all irrespective of CLASS, SEX and country?
    If we agreed on this two points then maybe we could further our discussion. :P Needless to say I seem to disagree on certain points, but before that I need to clarify the above points.

    Reply
      1. Pranjal

        Dear Maniji… kripaya kshama karein aur devi roop dharan na karein. Lekin ab Okhali me hamne sar daal hi diya hai to moosal se kyu darna :P

        Here the physical interpretation of the function is- doing what u like. And this is universal. Who doesn’t want to do whatever they like. Doing what u like includes stuff like getting stone drunk on Saturday nights, sleeping the entire day on Sunday, Returning home as late as u want on weekdays, sometimes not even returning home. Living a life unadulterated by constraints of commitments in short.

        Reply
        1. Pranjal

          the function ‘fun’ is what I said.

          And also, the scope of study only includes people who got jobs immediately after graduation. People who’ve had to try a little more have a little different curve.

          Reply
          1. Mani

            and ahem what about those poor females who come ftom a conservative female whose “fun” quotient are curbed with the comment – Do whatever you want after your marriage with your hubby.
            And i am surprised you haven’t considered sex in the ‘fun’ part ? :D

          2. Pranjal

            oh yes i have- In that double income no kids period, hanging out with friends to get stone drunk, not coming home and public ogling and girls would become difficult so its not done.
            By the way these are only a few examples- fun also includes buying a “Royal Enfield” or the latest gadgets without having to worry about the budgets or prospects of buying a house!

            this Law is meant for those poor females only na- its a message to them ki Padho aur kuch seekho- shadi nahi karogi tabhi sukhi rahogi- bolne do ghar parivaar walo ko unka to dhandha hi hai bolna

          3. Pranjal

            sex has not been considered in fun part because it’s a known fact- u can have it anytime if u have freedom :P

          4. Mani

            Do you mean to say that once married all gadgets and royal enfield become a no no? I think a royal enfield plus a car, both becomes possible with a Double income. The ogling thing never goes actually. once an oggler, always an oggler except earlier one did blatantly, but later discreetly. About the things that you have mentioned fun- well Men still sleep the whole day on a holiday. after marriage more so because they know that they have a wife as a back up to get the household stuff done.
            no matter how much a female studies or goes for a job, traditional outlook will always curb their freedom in most of the cases

          5. Pranjal

            ah cm’on- car is a need and Royal Enfield is luxery! how would I spend 1.5 Lacs on a bike that gives a mileage of 30kmpl, if i know i have to spend some 20 lacs for a flat in coming years! How can i keep spending some fifteen thousand rupees on a new phone every 3-4 months if i’m aware I have to save money because i’ll have a kid in few yars and i’ll have to educate him/her.
            Men Do sleep entire day on holiday but that’s not completely undisturbed peaceful sleep like bachelorhood- the wife will keep pricking- ae ji jao sabzi khareed laao. That sleep is a broken one and yeah i agree- that ogling thing would never go. But blatant, full time indiscreet ogling is fun without constraints.
            Oh the female can always say- “Go to hell, i’ll do what i want”
            what exactly is the big deal i don’t understand.

          6. Mani

            But you know in spite of such logic filled statements, in spite of a spreading anti marriage sentiment, people still marry. In spite of gender animosity, guys and gals still dream of a right person to share the life with. (yur words below- waiting for the right person :P) in spite of being sworn enemies, peole still fall in love. And please it is not always because it is a need to marry. And if you say that one has no choice left but to marry, then I would like to ask WHY?The big WHY? WHY in spite of having an unlimited choice of freedom why do you guys come forward to marry? Why do you agree to let your freedom to be compromised if you know that it is hell later on? Why abandon your heaven to enter hell? Tell me Mr Pranjal, can you cross your heart and say that you have never found anybody(no matter how temporary it might be) who made you sigh and think – If only…If only she had been in your life. :P Sorry for the Sharukh Khanish dialogue. May be it went slightly over the top. :P

          7. Mani

            If you are confused about the wWHYs then let me add that its because Maybe there is fun even in marriage too. :p

          8. Pranjal

            oh please don’t inflict so many why’s on me. Wo neeche waala “waiting for right person” sarcastic wala tha bhaiyya.
            And that is what this law is for na? An eye opener for people so that they don’t compromise their freedom and go marriage.
            Oh I have found ‘anybody’ many times but the problem is I have found her quite a few too many times. And I have come to my senses before anything untoward could happen to my freedom :P
            in some cases girl realized i’m hopeless shit and in the cases she didn’t- i freaked out when i saw my freedom being curtailed!

  4. Delhizen

    All I’ll say is ‘ have fun’ till it lasts and wait till you find the right person to spend the rest of your life with because only then will you realize what you were missing out on! Sharing life is directly proportionate to sense of completion & belongingness!

    PS: I am not married and I take everything you have written with a bagful of salt, bottle of Jam, pickle!

    Reply
    1. Pranjal

      Ah, I’m waiting for the ‘right person’… we’ll see :P

      ‘the right person’ is a concept which i don’t know why i find fictitious :)

      Reply
      1. Delhizen

        Because you are yet to find someone in real… duh! And don’t propagate too much of your law of fun because there might be a day when you will have to take back your words ;)

        Reply
        1. Pranjal

          I’ve not seen the future and i can not always be right- so who cares if i have to bite this law back. As long as i am able to pull some legs its all fine :P

          Reply
  5. Anney

    Pranjal, like Mani said…does this include both genders, different classes and countries? Your idea of fun is way overratted….you need to define what fun, responsibility and income would include!
    :P
    PS: Having read this with a pinch of salt and a bottle of jam with butter , i sufffer from heart and brain burn!

    Reply
      1. Anney

        LOL, U do know that all men want freedom from housework, work and cooking….that’s why they marry freedom( translate WOMAN).
        Once married, everything is wife’s responsibility….save the food eating bit….u have to eat the veg curry we make, no exception!!!!
        LO LOL LOL
        :))

        Reply
  6. rahul

    maja aa gya pranjal …bhai tu sahi ja rha h…
    apne chal ko bhi ye theory samajha de …abhi b thoda time hai, baise to usne bali k liye apni gardan aage kar hi di hai.

    Reply
    1. Pranjal

      Thanks yaar…Abe ham to hamesha se hi sahi jaate the, sale tum log Izzat nahi karte ho. Chahal ka to dimaag Kharab ho gaya hai, batao yaar hasne khelne ki umar me shaadi kar riya hai ladka :P

      Reply
      1. Yuvraj

        Pranjal…as per my perception and Knowladge about you…. This reseach is not based on excellence….. this reseach came from your fraustation …and i dont think that i need to explain what type of fraustatioin you have these days…am i right Mr. Pranjal ???

        Reply

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