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The Baby Question


Mummy, where do babies come from?” Anjali asked.

Oh my God! What shall I say? Its the BABY QUESTION that every parent dreads. I looked around. I had anticipated this question much later … like when she was 10….not 5!! ‘Breath…Breath’ I chanted to myself.

What do you think?” I asked. This was a logical way to go.

From the mummy’s stomach?”

See, you know the answer! Good Girl! Now let me finish cooking the fish curry.”

How does the baby get in the stomach?

Eh…well ,God puts it there…now go and study.”

Is God a doctor?”

Yes. He is an excellent doctor.”

So, how does he do it?

Shoot! I should have just told her that the stocks bring the babies!  Imagination is good for children!

Mummyyyy? How does he do it?” she persisted.

” Well, it’s like this… first God checks out everyone’s report card for behaviour. If you have 3 out of 3 you pass . You can have a baby.”

Then?

Then he says’ Let there be a BABY’ “ I said it which a dramatic flourish of my spoon and a bang on an old steel plate for the effect. ‘BONG!!!’ the plate echoed near my poor ears. I was pleased with my ingenious answer.

That means he is not a doctor….”

Huh?…”

He is a magician!”

I guess…”

How does the baby grow inside the stomach?”

Like a seed.” I said dismissively

Do I have seeds in my stomach?… Sidra (her best friend) says the babies are seeds in the stomach. After you marry and kiss, the seeds grow to babies…

“Kissing ,eh?….okay. I guess that is true.” I went back to the onions and fish.

Yikes! Kissing a boy! Never” she said giggling and looking disgusted at the same time.

The kitchen felt hot. I took a cool glass of lemonade and split it for the both of us before taking a sip.

“ How do the babies come out of the stomach?

I choked on my drink.

“ I told Sidra that everyone knows that you have to go to the hospital to get the baby.”

I nodded to approve her explanation.

For more babies, do we have to pray to God everyday or is it magic?”

Oh pray for sure!” I was hoping that this was the end of twenty questions.

Feeling satisfied with this reply, she walked out of the kitchen leaving me to grapple thoughts on how I should explain the birds and the bees in a few years.

How does our Kitty have kittens? “she asked tugging at my apron.

Well, she prays to God in the Meow she says at night. Haven’t you heard her cry ‘Meow, Meow ‘in the night? ” Am so brilliant!

Oh…ok.” she said as she left.

I sighed with relief and went back to chopping. She is sufficiently educated on the baby creation process for now. There is no need for any broad discussions.

Mummy?” she was back in the kitchen!

Hmmmm

What is this….”  she asked reading out “Sss..Eeee..Xxxx?.”

0 15 December, 2010 Anney's Musings December 15, 2010

About the author

Born and brought up in Abu Dhabi and roots in India, Anney has a streak of funny genes that could make you forget day’s tension. She has reinvented her writing passion and is here to delight us with her flavour.

View all articles by Anney Thomas

18 comments

  1. Vidya Sury

    Gotcha! I remember Vidur, when he was about five years old (he’s 13 now) – explained to my mom, his grandmother, in detail, about what happens on the “first night” – thanks to those TV serials. :D

  2. Debosmita

    OMG :D ROFL :D I can totally understand your situation ;) I remember my parents telling me that God gives us babies, which are brought out by cutting the stomach! The truth, but not wholly ;)

  3. divaaa

    sheesshh!i remember making a fuss with my parents asking why they didnt take me to their wedding when all my older cousins happend to be there…!lol…

  4. Pranjal

    OMG. I find it hard to imagine how would i react to such solid questions. Guess i’d comfortably say look kid- i seriously have no idea regarding this. U’ll have to ask ur mum because its her, who God sent u to :p :p

  5. Anney

    Thank you everyone for your comments.
    I have to reply to everyone in this by saying ” My daughter loves to ask question after question and is persistant at her quest for knowledge…poor me, I don’t have the parent manual to refer” :)
    B for Baby
    M for Marriage
    S for S**
    You get the picture na!

  6. Deepa

    Very well written and hilarious too! That is one cute kid. I was just thinking – what if she had asked you these questions in front of guests? Wouldn’t that have ben just great?!!

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