Hey You! Yes you, who are deciding right now whether or not you should continue with this article. Fine, it’s up to you to read this or not but I must tell you, here I’m preaching for you only in this article, if you are lazy. So if you are lazy, read this full- take a cue, spread the word and join the cause.
So, now let’s get directly to the point. Here I go:
This world has been unfair to lazy people. Yes, it has. I mean people just don’t appreciate how hard it is to be lazy. I’ll give you an example- here this Sunday; I lie on my bed, doing nothing. I’m simply there on the bed- like a log that has been kept. Now my roommate enters the room- our typical prejudiced against lazy person and says- “what is this? You are blissfully sleeping when I have been busy buying vegetables. Don’t you think you should do something?”
Now, to this, I think in my head- “F@#K you! Can’t you see I’m busy? Yes I’m blissful doing nothing but why does that bother you huh? Doing nothing doesn’t automatically translate into ‘applying no effort’. You know, I have postponed my lunch, in order to do what I am doing right now- nothing. I have not switched the TV on because the remote is out of reach and I have decided to do only nothing. I have not had bath since last seven days because everyone does that. I’d like to be different. I’d like to do something more difficult and more challenging- I’d like to do nothing in the time I’d use to have bath. In order to do nothing, I have to resist the temptation of reading that Dan Brown classic that I still have unfinished with me. You absolutely have no idea that it needs a resolve of steel, to resist the temptation to go to the women’s college street and check out the hotties. But I know you don’t have any idea regarding all this. You don’t have the intellect to appreciate my resolve of steel which makes me commit this many sacrifices. And that is why you can’t appreciate that doing nothing is a very difficult task and asks for such resolve.”
Now when this roommate of mine ridicules me for doing nothing, I think all the stuff written above. I want to say all this to him aloud, but this much thinking has made me exhausted. I can’t waste more energy telling him all this verbally so chuck it. Bhains ke aage been kaun bajaye. I’m busy doing nothing.
Let us see an instance of the very next day- Monday. But before that, let me add one thing- we, the lazy people hate Mondays. It is extremely insensitive to allow someone to do something that they love most- nothing for two days, and then suddenly, the very next day, ask them to do something that they despise most- everything that’s not nothing. Monday, IMO should be made a compromise b/w a working day and a holiday- something like a half day but a little more biased towards holiday. Anyways that’s another debate, let’s get back to point.
But it’s not only the others but we- among our own fraternity are culprit of underestimating us. Let us consider this situation of the office of a typical software company on a Monday morning which I was explaining before I got carried away with the heart touching issue of Monday. So one fine Monday morning, cursing this ridiculous system of Mondays, a software engineer comes to office. Till 11 am he is logged in to facebook lazing around, warming up and his boss calls him. He goes to boss’s room and gets a lecture on how he has been doing ‘nothing’ and how he is not fit for the company.
The poor lazy software engineer who had till now been cursing the crazy, inconsiderate system of Mondays; starts cursing his boss too “you- you don’t understand the value of doing ‘nothing’? You do ‘nothing’ only sitting on that chair. In fact, the amount of ‘nothing’ being done increases up the hierarchy of chairs. But still you don’t appreciate the value of doing nothing.”
Look anywhere, any office, any field. You’ll find such examples of ‘nothing’ being underestimated, denied and ridiculed. I fail to comprehend why people can’t appreciate the value of doing nothing. We are one of the key parts of our economy. How? Look, that’s how ignorant you are. You yourself being lazy enough to read this don’t know how important you are to economy. It’s this apathy I was talking about. But anyways, let’s get back to the topic. We are key parts of economy because we are a major source of jobs in India. Confused? Just imagine what all the dhobis would do if we ceased to do nothing and started washing our clothes on our own. The closest that I have been to cooking is boiling chemicals in a test tube in chemistry lab. If people like me loose that passion to do nothing and start cooking, it will have two effects- one, the cooks will go out of business obviously. And the second reason is well, if I start cooking, people who are stupid/ gracious/ lazy enough to eat that food face a heavy risk of food poisoning. So we should leave the jobs for specialists- clothes should be washed by dhobi, food should be cooked by the cook and we should do what we are best at- yes you guessed it right- nothing.
Just see the power of doing nothing- you are John Buchanan, a cricket coach. The team you coach goes round the world and the eleven extremely gifted and hard working players beat the shit out of every team they face and you get the credit for their win. We actually have a live example of how you can do nothing and still be the chief minister of a state as big as Uttar Pradesh. These are the places where doing nothing can take you, but still the denial!!
I hope I have been able to convey the message that I set out to convey and now you realize that doing nothing is not an easy task and nothing doers are very important part of society the and have at time also achieved great things but despite of this, they have constantly been denied, underestimated and ridiculed.
Hence, here at Gingerchai, let us start a campaign to get recognition for nothing as a legitimate (and particularly difficult) form of work. Join the cause.