Related Posts

Posted by

Abandoned

Newborn found abandoned in a garbage bin…

Two well dressed baby boys, wrapped in blankets and placed in cardboard boxes, found at the building entrance….

Three month old baby girl found abandoned at the beach….

Two day old baby found crying and dehydrated on a hot summer day….

Are we so heartless? I asked myself when I looked at the babies. How can you abandon a child? Is it that you guilty conscience does not allow you respite when you see them? Or is it that the guilt associated with the illicit act makes them a liability? What can we do?

Over the year, the paper has reported a lot of abandoned children… I hate the paper. It reduces me to tears when I read of these children. I can’t fathom the life ahead for these precious ones. No one to love and no one to share or care for them. An old grand aunty of mine is childless. She had a miscarriage and was told at 24 that she would never be a mother again. Her life as a mother ended there.

I wondered for years how she felt. The taunts and berating she may have faced would be endless. There were countless relatives who were proud of their children and would have flaunted the fact of having them in front of her. Her arms may have ached to hold one of her own. Every child she took care of had a string attached. I once asked her why she had not adopted and the reply was,” What if they don’t love me as their own?”

The answer seemed so illogical to me. Why would they not love you? Was there any guarantee that your own flesh and blood would love and honour you all your life? Our society condemns an orphan.  An unwed mother is ostracised for her decision to have a baby out of the wedlock. Does life have no value?  A parent-less child is also the future of our nation. To adopt one is never a shame. A mother, who decided to bring her baby up despite the odds of not having a man attached, should be commended. The herculean task of caring, earning and bringing up a child – alone, is by every instance worth the Noble Prize. Why should an innocent child suffer? The abandoned babies are left at the mercy of a stranger or the street. They may be bullied, mistreated and abused by the same society that calls children the future of the nation. They are often not given proper education, food or even protection for the sole reason that they were unwanted or by some stroke of fate left without a guardian.

The people who want to adopt are berated and persuaded to rethink with the advise that this child who would love to have a parent is not worthy of love and cannot be trusted. Sometimes, I wonder, can a mother be so cruel or is it love that makes them abandon this child to a greater mercy? Is it better to abort or abandon?  To have a child is a strong experience, to abandon one for a better future required courage in some form.

I wish that I had a chance to adopt. One may call it a romantic notion or a humane gesture. I want to adopt for the plain reason of having a heart that is capable of giving more. No strings attached. I have no guarantee that this child may love me all their life or simply hate me for choosing them. Not everyone may agree with me…but the future of the nation lies in our hands. We, the youth, must take a call in assisting and caring for these children who have no future to look to. I have begun my journey by sponsoring a child for education. My friends have sponsored food at various locales for the orphans. They have gone as volunteers to witness in first hand the use of the money they have spent. I have been telling my daughter of how an orphan prayed to Jesus for some lovely toys and clothes and of how Jesus asked her if she could spare some for this poor child. The answer would be a simple  “yes” and an open hearted disposal of all her old but lovely things. There are exceptions…the lovely pink dress is for her sister and the big Pooh Bear is off limits – even for her sister!

I guess the point I am trying to make is that children in all forms are precious. We, as adults, must take a conscious approach in taking care of them. My grandmother used to tell us of our Grandpa’s generosity. If ever a child came begging for money to my Grandpa, he would bring them home, feed them and ask them to stay and do some chore if they wanted to stay for long. His heart was big enough to realise that the child was begging not only for themselves but also for someone they cared for. There was never a dearth of children at his place and no end to the tears that they shed when he died. He may have asked them to work for their food, but his intention was only to ensure that they understood that working would enhance their life and lift them out of poverty. He has not adopted anyone legally, but his heart and his attitude adopted all sorts of children. Children, who grew up to be hardworking, loyal and sincere.

Do you have the heart to do the same….to help an abandoned child? Food, shelter or just plain care is what these little seed need to flower. Don’t abandon them. Protect them. Give them a chance to grow and be the best. Can’t you be their cosy sunshine?

0 15 September, 2010 Anney's Musings September 15, 2010

About the author

Born and brought up in Abu Dhabi and roots in India, Anney has a streak of funny genes that could make you forget day’s tension. She has reinvented her writing passion and is here to delight us with her flavour.

View all articles by Anney Thomas

16 comments

  1. ravi

    gud reaction to the things we often see in daily life. Most of the times we ignore such things assuming we are in a busy life and have no time to spare.

    i remember an incident similar where the mother couldnt feed her 2 days old child (couldnt milk) and left him at the orphan age. Now the qn: what if she didnt know of orphan age? then why give birth? ‘cos docs said abortion is not possible!

    i m not sure if we can have any slon at all for such a things except pushing it on to the govt!

    Reply
  2. Mohan

    Sadly, that is one thing that makes my blood boil upon viewing such news in the media. As the famous saying reads – all that goes out has to bounce back soon. So, the karma will certainly haunt such cults in one or the other form.

    Reply
  3. p

    I found your grandpa’s gesture of bringing home and feeding poor children. That is really Godly.

    However, these days, can we hope to do such a thing?

    Can we trust a child on the road enough, to bring him/her home and feed him/her? Or, if we did actually do such a lovely thing, is there a guarantee that we wouldn’t be hounded by the child’s parents who might think we have kidnapped or abused the child?!

    It is very sad, that even if we want to do good, it is doubted and risky.

    Reply
  4. Manoj

    Thought provoking. Not every one can adopt a child for many practical reason but at least we can sponsor a child’s future with whatever means we can, If not alone we can join couple of friends and do it.

    Reply
  5. Mani

    three lovely ladies with three lovelier posts back to back in Ginger Chai. Great! Thanks Anney for this post. Feels nice when all of us pitch in to make a difference. keep up the good work.
    As for the issue – yes it is a bit dicey1 everyone has their own views regarding it, but yes it has come to the fore that people do care and this show of the hu,mane side brings a ray of hope for the future. It isn’t that dark as they say

    Reply
  6. Smitha

    It is indeed heartbreaking to read about abandoned children. So many people around pining for children, while others forced to abandon them for various reasons.. I would love to adopt too, I think it is a wonderful way of completing our family. Whether it will become a reality or not, is something that waits to be seen.

    Reply
  7. Usha

    Sometimes, the decision to abandon happens to be a spur of the moment one. They probably regret later in their life.

    I’m all in on the adoption bit. Why pop out more when you can provide for the ones that are running around yearning for someone. :)

    Reply
  8. Anney

    @ Ravi: Yes, Govt is a villian but we do have “The cradle” to abandon kids into now. There is one in Thiruvanthapurum.
    @Pramathesh: Thanks for the support :)
    @ P: Yes, Grandpa was awsome. Good Q on the parents.The risk along with the heavenly reward is to be considered :)
    @ Alka: Miss Grandpa when I need a prayer of support.
    @ MAnoj: Collective effort can better any society.
    @ Mani: It is dicey but so heart breaking to watch for me.
    @ Smitha: So True.
    @ Usha :I take it you are single “Why pop out more when you can provide for the ones that are running around yearning for someone.” ;)

    Reply
  9. Md Muddassir Shah

    Very thought provoking. But in a population of billions with almost a quarter of them below poverty and illiterate , this is bound to happen. In another article I read, quite a few prostitutes dont feel like killing their children before birth, so they give them birth and abandon them.
    Education and awareness is the need of the hour to stop this cruelty

    Reply
    1. Simran

      The word is “sensitivity” which is, off lately, missing.
      If they cared enough to feel the process of giving birth then why not of taking a step further and nurturing their own kid?
      I guess at times, its not a mother’s decision to abandon the child, may be the parents, relatives etc take away the child. Well, I shudder at the mere thought.

      Salutes to your grandpa. :)

      Off track: your article reminded me a song by Collective Soul – The world I know. It’s about hopes lost and found.

      Reply
      1. Anney

        I agree on the sensitivity and the enviroment. sometimes, it is a heartless decision. Sometimes, it is a hear breaking decision….

        Reply
  10. zephyr

    That was a thought-provoking and angst ridden post. Children unfortunately are being treated with disdain and contempt by a callous society. While adopting a child might not be feasible for everyone, sponsoring his or her education and other expenses is definitely within the reach of everyone within their limitations, of course. I have written a post on the abuse of children. Pl take a look

    http://cybernag.in/2010/09/save-the-child-please

    Reply
    1. Anney

      You post was so consise and really painful. As a parent, I have my heart in my mouth when my daughters are out of sight. As kids we have all had negative experiances and saved our selves but instinct. Telling the parent was something i couldn’t do.
      I agree with teaching your kids the good touch and bad touch and in giving the kids a safe haven to express. Tis’ the only way to know for sure.It is difficult being a parent…but seeing your kids in danger…all bets are off then.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Facebook Comments

Show us your like!