The Law of Separate Thinking Models
Look I don’t claim big, I am a small man you see. I’m not good at philosophy; in fact my attempts at philosophy have all gone haywire, so I don’t claim to understand people. But I’m an engineer… hence I tend to believe that I’m good at making observations. It is on the basis of those endless curious observations that I have been making ever since I gained conscience that I frame this law.
Now let us get directly to the law. Actually many of you (especially men) already know the law in fact may sometimes mention it too… only that no one till now framed it in form of a law. It exists only in the form of sayings. Hence I hereby claim the credit of making the Pranjal’s law of separate thinking models.
So here is the law :
“There are two different sets of equations governing the algorithms on which male and female minds work. These sets of equations, whatever may be interval, are never congruous to each other.”
Now that the law is there, I think I must now elaborate both the systems of equation individually.
The female system of equation
This is a unique mathematical model (has to be… God is no ordinary mathematician). This system of equations has incredibly large number of variables. The variables include some important variables like studies, work etc and some (read many) trivial variables like ‘miss x’s dress sense’, ‘miss y’s new boyfriends’ etc.
In this system, some equations even coincide with each other, hence giving infinitely many solutions leading to interesting results like indecision on banal issues as whether to go to party or to go shopping or to catch up on the daily dose of gossip or to sit home and watch mundane television shows.
The most interesting part is that this is all we know about this particular system of equations. Any further attempts aimed at understanding this model lead to curious results. If you solve it manually, regardless of how brilliant a mathematician you are, you’ll invariably end up with a frustratingly inconsistent, indeterminate bunch of equations(in the process, may also get a few contradictions as “I CRIED because I was HAPPY” ). On the contrary if you try solving it on a computer, regardless of your system configuration, it will result in system hang.
Since there is nothing more that I’ve been able to decipher in this mathematical model, let’s move on to the next model- the male system of equations.
The male system of equations
This is a brilliantly simple system of equations… with only three variables- job, sports and sex. For guys who are still students, the variable job is replaced by studies but the rest of the variables are the same. And that will be all the thinking of a boy revolves around. It’s incredible that everything that a guy thinks of, a particular at a particular point of instance can be described on the basis of these three variables only. Try introducing a fourth variable- girlfriend and the slopes of all the equations in the system become equal hence the system is immediately rendered inconsistent- with no solution at all (hence the guy loses his ability to think/make judgments). In this otherwise homogeneous system of equations, introduce a constant term called alcohol and you’ll distinctly get a unique solution to the system- emotional dialogues like “tu mera sabse acha dost hai”. According to personal experiences, sometimes these emotional dialogues can turn into outrageous suggestions as “gaadi mujhe chalane de!!”
But the simplicity has its hazards- a guy will see a beautiful lady but not her husband standing beside her. This simplicity leaves most of the guys at a loss when it comes to matters such as relationships… not only the variables in the system of equation are insufficient to understand relationships, but also guys resist introduction of any new variable in that regard.
And that my friend is the synopsis of all the observations that I have been able to make till date. I know that’s too little but I’ll keep adding all the new observations, if any. Feel free to add any further details/ observations of your own. For one more law framed by Pranjal click here
Disclaimer: All the stuff written above is in good humor. Please take no offense, regardless of the model that your mind follows to take decisions.
- Written by Pranjal Srivatsava. Pranjal is a mechanical engineer by profession from National Institute of Technology, Jamshedpur. Welcome Pranjal to our GingerChai author panel.
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