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The Law of Separate Thinking Models

men vs women
Look I don’t claim big, I am a small man you see. I’m not good at philosophy; in fact my attempts at philosophy have all gone haywire, so I don’t claim to understand people. But I’m an engineer… hence I tend to believe that I’m good at making observations. It is on the basis of those endless curious observations that I have been making ever since I gained conscience that I frame this law.

Now let us get directly to the law. Actually many of you (especially men) already know the law in fact may sometimes mention it too… only that no one till now framed it in form of a law. It exists only in the form of sayings. Hence I hereby claim the credit of making the Pranjal’s law of separate thinking models.

So here is the law :

There are two different sets of equations governing the algorithms on which male and female minds work. These sets of equations, whatever may be interval, are never congruous to each other.

Now that the law is there, I think I must now elaborate both the systems of equation individually.

The female system of equation

This is a unique mathematical model (has to be… God is no ordinary mathematician). This system of equations has incredibly large number of variables. The variables include some important variables like studies, work etc and some (read many) trivial variables like ‘miss x’s dress sense’, ‘miss y’s new boyfriends’ etc.

In this system, some equations even coincide with each other, hence giving infinitely many solutions leading to interesting results like indecision on banal issues as whether to go to party or to go shopping or to catch up on the daily dose of gossip or to sit home and watch mundane television shows.

The most interesting part is that this is all we know about this particular system of equations. Any further attempts aimed at understanding this model lead to curious results. If you solve it manually, regardless of how brilliant a mathematician you are, you’ll invariably end up with a frustratingly inconsistent, indeterminate bunch of equations(in the process, may also  get a few contradictions as “I CRIED because I was HAPPY” ). On the contrary if you try solving it on a computer, regardless of your system configuration, it will result in system hang.

Since there is nothing more that I’ve been able to decipher in this mathematical model, let’s move on to the next model- the male system of equations.

The male system of equations

This is a brilliantly simple system of equations… with only three variables- job, sports and sex. For guys who are still students, the variable job is replaced by studies but the rest of the variables are the same. And that will be all the thinking of a boy revolves around. It’s incredible that everything that a guy thinks of, a particular at a particular point of instance can be described on the basis of these three variables only. Try introducing a fourth variable- girlfriend and the slopes of all the equations in the system become equal hence the system is immediately rendered inconsistent- with no solution at all (hence the guy loses his ability to think/make judgments). In this otherwise homogeneous  system of equations, introduce a constant term called alcohol and you’ll distinctly get a unique solution to the system- emotional dialogues like “tu mera sabse acha dost hai”. According to personal experiences, sometimes these emotional dialogues can turn into outrageous suggestions as “gaadi mujhe chalane de!!”

But the simplicity has its hazards- a guy will see a beautiful lady but not her husband standing beside her. This simplicity leaves most of the guys at a loss when it comes to matters such as relationships… not only the variables in the system of equation are insufficient to understand relationships, but also guys resist introduction of any new variable in that regard.

And that my friend is the synopsis of all the observations that I have been able to make till date. I know that’s too little but I’ll keep adding all the new observations, if any. Feel free to add any further details/ observations of your own. For one more law framed by Pranjal click here

Disclaimer: All the stuff written above is in good humor.  Please take no offense, regardless of the model that your mind follows to take decisions.

- Written by Pranjal Srivatsava. Pranjal is a mechanical engineer by profession from National Institute of Technology, Jamshedpur. Welcome Pranjal to our GingerChai author panel.

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0 13 May, 2010 Wicked Brew May 13, 2010

About the author

Pranjal is a mechanical engineer by profession from National Institute of Technology, Jamshedpur.

View all articles by Pranjal Srivastava

43 comments

  1. Mani padma

    Brilliantly written, but that doesn’t condone u from getting a handful from me. ;-) i wonder where the ginger cafe belan is. Some body’s Laws need a bit of modifying. :-D

    Reply
    1. pranjal

      haha… oh please spare me this time, you’ll get a lot many chances to beat me up because i’m going to formulate more laws :P (though on different issues)

      but inspiration for this was drawn in comments of “pages from the diary of an unknown teenager”. once the chain reaction got initiated there, I made sure i propagated and terminated the reaction :P

      Reply
      1. mani

        Egad! did I demonstrate any of yur variables in that article? yeah I do remember yur comment which you have applied here in the article.:-)

        Reply
  2. Deepti Srivastava

    wow..wt an analysis..

    i wish tht Sigmund Freud shud hv seen ur wrk b4 dying :razzmad:
    he wud hv really appreciated ur work
    btw…i had a really gud laugh on the following line:-
    (in the process, may also get a few contradictions as “I CRIED because I was HAPPY” )

    vry well written bhai :beauty:

    Reply
    1. pranjal

      haha… ok agreed! in some some cases some of the variables may acquire a value with limit tending to zero yielding a result(but very few cases, maybe once in a thousand times :P)

      Reply
  3. Lazy Pineapple

    :evilgrin: :rotfl: hehe wow only an engineer could do this kind of equations.

    I am glad you have got it right…hope you could enlighten the other men too..
    Hilarious post..

    Reply
    1. pranjal

      thanks LP… this post is a part of my campaign to enlighten the worldly people who are blissfully ignorant :)

      Reply
  4. Pumpkin Longshanks

    “In this system, some equations even coincide with each other, hence giving infinitely many solutions leading to interesting ….”
    Being an engineer and an applied mathematician, how exactly would equations coincide and yet lead to infinitely many solutions?!

    I think you are talking about non-linearities that are inherent in the first set of equations (I will not refer to it as the ‘female system’ for fear of being branded sexist!). Non-linearities can be solved numerically… you should try it….

    The second set of equations don’t make too much sense. Thats not what everyone thinks of, at least. However you might feel, we aren’t as wild and carnal as the ‘set of equation’ makes you believe. You may want to redress any inconsistencies in your governing set of equations. Perhaps the boundary conditions are all wrong.

    … I should stop drinking coffee.

    Reply
  5. pranjal

    when i say ‘coincinding’ equations, i mean eaquations which are an integral multiple of a particular equation (same slope and same intercept in a 2D system). and last time i was taught mathematics was in third semester and till then this situation had infinitely many solns…
    i’m not an applied mathematician so don know much about non-linearities of equations, so mistakes may occur… pardon my lord, i’m not a mathematics wizard…
    and obviously every guy doesn’t think of only those three things, there obviously is much, much more to life… it was just an over exaggeration meant for fun which i suppose din’t go down well… i’m sorry if that hurt you… from next time no exaggerations.

    Reply
    1. Pumpkin Longshanks

      Wow! My comment was meant to be laced with sardonic overtones! :P

      As a side note, I thought coinciding equations were those which would have the same solution or ….. anyway!

      Nice post! Shouldn’t you be asleep?!??!?!??!?!?!??! :D

      Reply
      1. pranjal

        oops my mistake… well the sardonic overtones are very difficult to see in that sir… falling asleep is what I did after I gave that comment. :)

        Reply
  6. Pumpkin Longshanks

    by the by…. isn’t the graphic used at the top of the page a common fixture outside a loo?? :P

    Reply
  7. Pratyush

    Unique topic n real gud stuff to read…
    men n women r lyk south n north pole….but never their difference is so well discussed…but at tyms i felt their was a bit exaggeration…..because i feel girls r not so confused souls n we are not such big ass-holes….anyway luved d write-up sirji

    Reply
  8. ankita vaid

    haha !This is awesome pranny! i fall into the first system of equations and believe me,we women still dont know what we want!!!! *winks

    very well written. keep posting more good stuff. wud love reading!

    cheers! bless u! :)

    Reply
  9. Nethra

    I don’t completely agree with Pranjal’s law of separate thinking models, because I have witnessed cases that are otherwise. Nevertheless, it was fun to read your perception on the topic. :)

    Reply
  10. Nidhi Srivastava

    Hey…that was so mean of u…just kidding.But u have certainly missed some very unique features of my gender…which r above urs!!!hahaha.jokes apart…good one

    Reply
    1. Pranjal Srivastava

      hehe thanks… finally you did read this. which features are above wo main tumse mil ke hi discuss karoonga behen :)

      Reply
  11. Shweta Srivastava

    hhhmmmm….finally..was waiting 4 dis one…though i must tell u, ur equation is not balanced dear :razzmad: …better be carefull while jotting down valid points ….but as u have tried hard so i will give u some credit…really nice one :-( though not true :laugh:

    Reply
  12. Pranjal

    thank u, thank u… chalo apne itani daya to kar di aapne :)
    aur challenge mat karo didi… u know i can write endlessly on the issue :P:P

    Reply
  13. M Tanuja

    I think this is a very unique combination of writing, d incorporation of studies so much into writing was neva expected of a NIT Jam student…:P i found the style of writing refreshing and the facts in the write up are origins of ur mind and hav no much resemblance 2 d reality though…:P

    Reply
    1. Pranjal

      Ha ha… thank you for finding this different… U’ll find a base of the facts- observe the people around you :P

      Reply
        1. Pranjal

          haan this is true- Observation will be the same, interpretations will obviously differ- to each his own. Jaaki rahi bhaavna jaisi, Prabhu moorat dekhi waisi :P

          Reply

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