Do you remember playing a game in your childhood- a game called twenty questions or twenty clues, where you have to guess what or who it is with the said clues or facts.
Well I also made up a small quiz or game with some question. But I only wished things were so simple to be called a game, for as you will read down you will know that this is anything but a game. Puzzled? Please don’t be. You will find the answers as you read on the facts.
1. Do you know, with my birth arises a whole lot of problems the first being that, my birth cannot be even registered officially?
2. Do you know, I cant even aspire for an education. Let alone the higher education, I can’t even enroll for a basic school education?
3. Do you know my dreams of driving a car gets restrained to driving on the sly just because I cannot apply for a driving license legally?
4. Do you know the national banks of India did not consider my existence when they were offering new account openings?
5. Do you know they do not even have a separate prison for me?
6. Well it is obvious that someone without an education will hardly be good for any job, so yes you guessed correctly. No registration in an employment exchange for me.
7. So on that note, if I am not considered worthy of a job, maybe I shouldn’t have a pan card either. Well the income tax department did think on those lines and so? I cannot apply for a pan card either.
8. If you are thinking I am the endangered tiger, well, you are wrong, though I wish I was one. For instead of people fighting for my cause I usually have them say- May your tribe decrease. Leave alone the people, I myself wish that – May our tribe decrease.
9. Do I have a problem? I am the problem! Yes I am the problem because I have a problem.
10. Rediffmail and yahoo do not acknowledge me, but gmail do not seem to have an issue with me. So I guess I can blog but for that I need to be a literate and yes Facebook forgot my existence too.
11. Do you know going to a public toilet always land me in a dilemma…Where do I go?
12.Surprisingly I can apply for a passport, voter’s card and a ration card, but how do I provide my birth certificate and other documents for verification?
13.Do you know I have to lie to travel by Air and Train. Do I not have the right to travel either?
14.Do you know that though I cannot apply for an insurance from private players but I can apply for life insurance from LIC which is an irony because For whom do I insure my life..
15. Shunned by the society- feared, ridiculed we have our own community, our own world, which you may find it queer, or murky.
Who am I? You must have guessed by now.
Yes! I m an intersexual, a Eunuch, a hizra or as medicos would say- a person with sexual differentiation disorder. A technical term which is probably stopping us from being termed as the third sex or giving us an identity of our own. But the society? Does it treat us as their own?
All the scientists and medicos out there , you may say that our genotype is either that of a male or a female, but phenotype or our physical attributes, how would you classify us as? How would you explain that to the society which consists of the so called laymen?
You are disgusted at our ways, our appearances, our means of survival- the begging, the extortion. Tell me, do you leave us with any choice? Is it our fault that we are the way we are? You are afraid of our curses, feel blessed with our good wishes, but do you really think we are so divinely endowed? If it was so would we be stuck in this situation?
I don’t want your pity or your alms, I just want an identity and a rightful place in the society where I can live with dignity and respect, where I can live without remorse or shame. Where I can be what I am without assuming another identity…
Love me or hate me, the only way you can help me is by accepting me as I am and giving me if not equal, at least some opportunities… That is the only way you will be rid of me as a problem…this is the only way I will be rid of my problems.
Author’s note: This article was conceived when at a traffic signal I had irritatedly commented to a hijra why they cannot do something other than begging (I know it was rash and thoughtless) but at least I got my answers.
P.S: Many hijra activists and western NGOs are lobbying for attaining a third sex or third gender status for them.
What is your opinion?
- Article written by Mani Padma. She is a Doctor by profession, working in Delhi. She is the chief-co brewer of GingerChai and has to her credit some of the interesting categories you see in GingerChai. Want to read more of her articles ? Click HERE.
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marginalized for no fault of theirs…chance of birth…it could have been me!!!
it is our feeling of needing to belong to ‘right side of everything’ that makes us alienate them from OUR society.
Very interestingly said.
Very thoughtful article Mani. Its so true, we expect them to behave like ‘normal’ ppl , but have left them with no other resort than begging..
When humanity matures enough to accept another as a fellow human instead of focusing on their respective sexual orientation, The questions will be answered
Thoughtful article, Mani.
Cheers
I have seen most of them harassing the public. its not right, isnt it? n some of them by the looks…i feel r men dressed as women. the tribe has increased. i wonder if ther r actually so many of them in real. i guess if they try to be decent, then ppl will accept them. their aggressive nature makes ppl react the way they do.
Hi Sima. Welcome to GC. Well i do understand ur concern and feelings. i felt the same when they came barging in at my home demanding 11000rs when I had my baby. But as I said, love them or hate them, the only way to get away with th is to give them a chance to exist with dignity n an identity. First let us do our bit n then…
You see it really isn’t about them it is about us.! ironic but true.
Well articulated Mani Padma.
Cheers
GB
Doesn’t Tamil Nadu provide ration cards for the third sex?
Well, i hav already stated there is a provision of ‘others’ in the sex column of the passport application form and voters card application form. Ration card doesn’t ask for the sex of the person, so I guess applying for the three isn’t much of a problem.
Well, recently I did fill out an application where next to Gender, the options were,
a) Male
b) Female
c) Others
d) Don’t know
As for the topic, it isn’t really something I have thought about but thinking about a third gender when people cannot yet come to terms with differences in orientation among the two that already exists is asking too much.
Hi guria. Of course there are a few forms like the passport application forms and voters card application form which have the provision of ‘others’ but there are only a few. And then, sexual orientation and sexual differentiation disorder,are entirely two different things. While orientation is by choice and a personal matter , crime related(both against and by them) to the intersexual is a social issue. Which i feel maybe tackled by awareness, and accepting them as the third sex and giving them a chance to survive with dignity.
Orientation is not a personal choice, this is a misconception people may have. It is also a social issue. My point was that, that a simple difference in orientation among males or females is so hard to accept by the society, I can’t imagine the same society being liberal towards a third sex. In the above comment, I was actually being sarcastic. I am very pro the adage “Live and Let Live”, though very honestly, I haven’t given much thought to trans-sexuals or intersexuals as much as homosexuals. By the way, several South-East Asian countries and to some extent, India are much more liberal than any other place in the world about trans-sexuals and intersexuals. Read and saw this on a documentary done on them.
About the adage- live and let live – exactly my feelings, Guria. and that is precisely the reason I wrote this article.
Whatever be the different variations in the treatment of intersexuals, the fact remains that there is quite an amount of crime against the intersexuals as is the crime by them.
Thoughtfull article!!
What I would like to know is what kind of rights do these people have in other countries? Are they recognised??
As far as India is concerned-
1.) There was an article recently that Bihar govt will employ enunchs as bus conductors to provide them livelihood.
2.) Punjab govt had said that they would treat enunchs as mails while providing jobs etc but the community wasnt too happy with that.
3.)I dont know about south but In north Enunchs do have some sort of a “business” if you can say that. They come to marriages, child birth etc to give blessings and these days its becoming a money spinning business. Not pleasing an Enunch is considered a bad omen and some take advantage of this fact and demand Diamond rings, money in thousands and what not! They come in cars, have their area designated so much so that even some people behave like them to make easy money.
Though it could possibly a part of bigger racket with the actual people not benifitting much or even not beniffiting even a little!
I believe you meant ‘males’… treating eunuchs like mails is pretty hard to do. :rotfl:
Hi Sanchit. You have come out with some very relevant points and I had to delay replying you to think a little, but before I get on to replying let me thank you, usha, Nalini , Gayatri , Pramathesh and Gyanban for appreciating it.
ok I googled for your first query but could not find much information due inconsistent perseverance on my part. but yes they have their issues too.
Then your third point – yes it is a very relevant point. As is the usual case, when people find a way to earn easy money then they start loving that lifestyle , watever it maybe , so is the case with some of the lot. Well if people will shell out money out of fear then they will take full advantage of the fact. But the truth is that the curses and blessings – they are all a myth. Again if they have to be incorporated into a somewat normal lifestyle , the society have to discourage them from that so called easy lifestyle to. All in all its a big resposibility for all. the awaeness, education and job oportunities – the basics that have to be dealt with.
Let me stir the hornet’s nest…
Why waste time on something we can do little about ‘politically’? And why go with the tide and label them as ‘Third sex’ in the first place?
(No, seriously… I am not being insensitive here, but lets see what kind of responses this one gets. This is a perfect example of how blinded our society has grown, basing its foundations, ever changing if I may add, on mere externalities (for lack of a better word) rather than reconcile with the true nature of existence. )
Welcome back ! :evilgrin: let the dhamaka begin :bomb:
:-/
:sidefrown: 
:talktothehand: ?:-) :struggle:
Heyyyyy! you are back! I was really missing u. For a moment when I saw your name in the comment section, I was kind of -OMG! I m done for now.- :laugh: but really , its good to see you back in action. … well the niceties over, shall we proceed on to what you were saying? I agree with you on the political thing, but I m not sure on why you don’t want to go on with the tide? But before that let me myself tell you why i want to ” go along with the tide”. ts simply for the following conversation I had :-
Me-tum log kuch aur dhang ka kyu nahin karte ? ( meaning- why dont you people do something worthwhile)
they- tum log hume karne kyu nahin dete? ( meaning- why dont you let us?)
Got it? I rest my case
When I put in my comment yesterday, I was in a super-abnormal mood. (That I am always abnormal by normal definition is not relevant here). Why do we even have this male, female, he-she-ale crap?
I do not agree to the derived import of this dialogue because its recursive.
Agreed that for every person who wants to uplift and accept a ‘hijra’, there will be 10 others who will not touch them with stick, for whatever reason. But trying to label them as a group and waging protests for equality won’t help… it will merely increase prejudice, which is already overflowing in our society.
Continue reading my response to Usha.
Oh, forgot to thank you for the welcome. LR only gets a “Rolls Eyes”… hehe.
Things have been hectic… new job, move back to home, overseas trip… you name it.
Now that I have settled down somewhat, I might be sitting down soon to start another series of articles for GC. *fingers crossed*
Good news, eh, LR?
Perhaps society’s foundation is all about accomodating the people who make up the society. If by giving them their legal rights, they feel accepted, why not?
I don’t mean to come across as sarcastic… but providing legal rights has solved a problem till now?
This “something is better than nothing” way will not work in any case. (And this is also the same reason we have now classifications like reservations for ‘Dalit Christian’ (I was ‘WTF’?? on hearing it the first time!! But that’s for another post
).
So, our honorable fraudsters will have to define discriminatory guidelines and separate rights for males who became females, and females who became males among those who opted for genital restructuring through surgery, those who didn’t go for surgery opting to remain ‘true hijras’, those who simply act like one just for the heck of it but really don’t have any traits to be so… this is a legal quagmire.
Ok… so they feel accepted?
Suppose they get legal rights… one of them goes to a hotel and gets thrown out… they can complain, come back with 2 constables, have food and say “The food was nice, Thank you!”? I would feel revolted if I was in that situation!
I agree 100% with your statement that it is all about accommodating people who make up the society. But my point is it should be on a sound basis of acceptance of the true nature of a person and not on the basis of some artificial equality statement in some corner of the bulky constitution.
I am just playing the devil’s advocate, alright? Thinking from the ‘root cause’ standpoint… Mani would understand what I am saying, right Mani?
But fact is that most of us, in general, are incapable of looking beyond the skin, by choice or by conditioning.
Hmm..Everything you stated sounds valid. My knowledege on how the Indian Government functions is close to an insignificant value.
So, do you suggest that they should be left to do whatever they are involved with right now? Since, government is screwed and people are too thick skinned to acknowledge their presence, and like you said some of them might even be faking it so why bother fighting yea..
PS: ‘hijra’? A term coined by India? Sorry, never came across it before. :s
Well, I didn’t say ‘let them be’… not exactly.
I guess what I am saying is we should find a solution which will truly work. And its not like everyone of these folks are begging. There was series of articles in a Tamil newspaper called “Daily Thanthi” which showcased several ‘Aravaanis’ (as they are called in Tamil) who have taken up professions, helping many others like them build better lives and so on.
There is always a choice. And where choice exists, there is always hope.
As a personal belief, I know that a solution based on the spiritual platform would work… but then again, I am probably being over-optimistic about sufficient numbers of intelligent people getting interested in that path.
Still, it is ‘a’ perspective, so I guess I can put it forward.
Ok Ambi. So you didn’t let me rest my case. Fine. but i will answer you in the daytime. there was a massive power cut so war off line. now completely synced out.
While I did not have, and do not have, any intention of making it look like your viewpoint as being wrong, by this time you should have understood that I have a totally different way of looking at things.
So, its not like ‘not letting you rest your case’… just wanted to present my perspective.
Peace. O:-)
ok ok I get it now. Of course you were just giving the “other side of the broader perspective” .fine fine. no issues . my mistake. :lashes:
really thought provoking post. Do see the movie ‘Welcome to Sajjanpur’ in which a Hijra is elected as a sarpanch and it also shows the feelings they have and what they go through.
People discriminate against them cause they never tried to accept them…it is the same way most people deal with homosexuals. Our minds have been programmed to accept things on the straight and narrow path,this is right, that is wrong…we are all followers of the herd mentality and are scared of breaking away from it.
Real thought provoking! Never thought so much abt them!
Its hard to even imagine what they must be going through
I had never given the hijras much thought until I started blogging – the media otherwise seems quite unaware of the problems they face. A very thought provoking post… voting for you on Indiblogger.
@ All Thank you for your appreciation. @ Indian Homemaker I am honored to be considered for your vote. Thank you.
Several times during my visits to India, infact all the time, I used to see these people in trains, on the roads passing by taxis and cars, and wondered what is this. There are many who have this disorder at other places in the world. Having visited so many countries, I have never seen such people in such disgraceful condition. I do really applaud the Indian Government for the freedom we have in India but they do need to do something for people like these and help them out. The media would also play and important role in changing people’s perspectives. Great article and eye-opener.